Dr. can we talk?
This morning I had a pre-op appt. at my Dr.s office, then I had an appt. for my blood work-up. I had left a message for my Dr. on Fri. wanting him to call me ASAP, becaues the symptoms I was suffering from were stopping, causing me to think my ureter was healing. He called me this morning and told me that my test Fri. was not going to show if I still had ureter damage, it was to show them a total picture of my inside. So, he said that really there is no way to know if my ureter would or wouldn't heal, he just said that it probably wouldn't, but surgery was my choice and we'd meet when I came in for my appt. I prayed "God, I don't know what to do. God, tell me what to do. I'll do it, just tell me." I had read my Bible, but didn't feel like I knew the answer. I had the radio on. I prayed "God, I'm asking You that the next song that comes on the radio will be Your answer." I knew before the first word what the song was when it started playing. It was "I Am"
Mark Schultz - I Am
From the album Mark Schultz Live CD/DVD
I am the maker of the Heavens
I am the bright and morning star
I am the breath of all Creation
Who always was
And is to come
I am the One who walked on water
I am the One who calmed the seas
I am the miracles and wonders
So come and see
And follow me
You will know
Chorus:
I am the fount of living water
The risen Son of man
The healer of the broken
And when you cry
I am your savior and redeemer
Who bore the sins of man
The author and perfecter
Beginning and the end
I am
I am the spirit deep inside you
I am the word upon your heart
I am the One who even knew you
Before your birth
Before you were
Chorus:
Before the Earth (I am)
The universe (I am)
In every heart (I am)
Oh, where you are (I am)
The Lord of love (I am)
The King of Kings (I am)
The Holy lamb (I am)
Above all things
Chorus:
Yes, I am almighty God your father
The risen son of man
The healer of the broken
And when you cry
I am your savior and redeemer
Who bore the sins of man
The author and perfecter
Beginning and the end
I am
and I knew. I knew. On the drive to the Dr. I told Mark I didn't want the surgery, and he supported me. The Dr. was ready for us and met with us. He said that healthwise, leaving the stent in for a few months is fine. It's a miracle that I'm able to tolerate it, because he said most people can't. He said that in Dec. we will take it out, and see if it's healed. The success rate is 1% to 2%. I told him I was a believer, and believed in prayer, and intended to do so. So, this is where I am. I'm hopefully resting in what God has planned for me.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jeremiah%2029:11-14;&version=65;
Finally, coffee!
The Dr. said yesterday that he doesn't think my stent was working. My surgery is scheduled for next Thurs. The Dr. said that after the surgery I will be in the hospital up to 5 days, and possibly out of work 6 weeks after that, and come home with a catheter for 10 days. I was shocked when he said he didn't think it was working. I go today for another IVP, and a cat scan. I trust God 100%. I'm praying that when I go for those tests today, that it will show that the stent is working. I know that God answers prayers, and I know that He heals, and I know that He answers prayers. So, no matter what I'm trusting Him. I heard on TV this morning the necessity of forgiveness. She said if you don't forvgive, it's not hurting the person that you won't forgive, it hurts you. So I'm trying to constantly remember that, as so many are trying to make me blame the person who did my surgery. I don't want anything standing in the way of my miracle.
I actually felt much better yesterday than I've felt, and even had an appetite last night. Today was the first time I've been able to drink coffee! Can you believe that I was so sick I couldn't even drink coffee! I've also slept until 5:00 for the past 2 days, which has been a tremendous blessing. I've had severe insomnia, and had been getting up at 4:00, and 3:30, and even 2:30. So to be able to sleep until 5:00 has been wonderful.
I read in my Bible this morning the story of Elijah on Mt. Carmel. He was coming up against the false prophets of Baal. He put their god to the test, and trusted in his God by doing so. He prayed before the test that God would let it be known that He is God, and would do what Elijah had requested. And God did. He also predicted rain after a severe famine. The first signs came in a tiny cloud, but Elijah knew. And a downpour came.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=I%20KIngs%2018;&version=65;
I know some of you reading this today are in the same boat as me. At a crossroads. Not knowing. I am offering all of this up to God for the both of us. He is in control. Stand firm.
Dear God,
Please help my reader and myself today. Help us to see and learn whatever lesson you have for us in our situations. Help us to love always. Help us to forvgive. Help us to look up.
In Jesus name,
Amen
Just wanted you to know.........I'm alive part II
Well, some of you have heard and maybe some of you haven't, my surgery has had complications. The complication I mentioned last week never cleared up, so I went to the Dr. Fri. and he sent me straight to the hospistal. We didn't expect this. They ran a test Friday night on my bladder that involved a catheter, with me awake! That showed no damage to my bladder. So, on Sat. they did the test where they run the dye through your bloodstream. That test showed a leak in my ureter. We were then referred to and met with a urologist who said the next step would be an additional test on Sunday, and then place a stint in my ureter. He told us Sat. night that this rarely works, but the test had to be done, and it was worth it to try the stint. He said that depending on what the test revelaed, that most likely I would need reconstructive surgery, where they would put fix my ureter. On Sunday I had the stint placed in my ureter. When the Dr. met with Mark he told him that if I need the surgery, it's about a 4-6 week recovery, and he'd already told us that after the surgery I will have to wear a bag for 10 days. Several things could've happened, but it appears as if my ureter we damaged during surugery. This has been a shock to our family, and there's definitely been some tears shed over the past few days.
But, I do have things to praise for. I had prayed that God would be with me during some very frightening times this weekend. When you're alone in a room having test done, that you aren't prepared for it's scary. Also, I'm extremely thankful that they were able to find out what the problem is.
Proverbs 24:16a
for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again
I'm adjusting to the stint, but I feel better than I did a week ago. Because the medicine he gave me for inestinal spasms wasn't helping last week, as it appear I was having bladder spasms. Which is why if any of you saw me last week, I was staying as drugged up as I could because the pain was excrutiating.
So, even though now I'm on about four more pills, I'm laying of the narcotics.
The Dr. who did my hysterectomy is unaware that this complication has even occured. The Tues. after my appointment Mon. he was having surgery for pre-cancer. I told him last Mon. that I would be praying for him, and I have been. I know what some of you are thinking, "I'd sue." Well, first of all as a woman who is the queen of mistakes, this man is human, and he made a mistake. I'm focusing and praying for healing. I've heard it said before, and now I'm experiencing first hand, "No amount of money can buy your health."
Proverbs 24:29
Do not say, I"ll do to him as he has done to me; I'll pay that man back for what he did."
Please pray for my family, and especially Mark. He's totally overwhelmed with everything right now. I can't do anything, so he has to do everything, on top of his regular schedule.
I love you all, and that you so much for lifting me up. I'll try to write back soon.
Gina
Just wanted you to know.........I'm alive
I'm sorry I haven't check in before today. But, I just haven't been able to. I just wanted to let you know that my surgery went well, and the Dr. was able to perform the procedure in the way he wanted. I came home Thurs. night, but Fri. started running a fever. Mark took me to the Dr. and he put me on meds for infection. I actully left my house with 0 make-up on, and my pjs. Sat. I felt pretty good. On Sun. afternoon, I went downhill. By the time Mark and Chloe got home from church, I was in tremendous pain. On Monday, I already had an appt. scheduled. I put on make-up that day, but still had on my pjs. By the time I got to the Dr. I thought the LORD was calling me home!! He took out my stitches, OUCH! Then he told me he thought I was having intestinal spasms. He gave me something to put under my tongue.
People have brought food, and phoned, and visited. I'm so thankful to have friends.
Monday night LeeAnn and Krystal brought lasagna. My mom came over to check on me also. She starts inspecting the pile of meds I'm on. "Gina!! I didn't know the Dr. put you on purcacet!! It is very addicting and dangerous. Stop taking it. I mean do not take another one!" I told her the pain I was in, that wasn't happenin'. She said "I'll tell Mark to take them away from you." I told her, "Trust me. Mark is not that stupid." Yesterday was really the first day I've felt any better. I've deveoped another complication. I'm gonna try to look on the web and see if I can find out what's going on.
You know what I can't get out of my mind? The helpless who are in these kinds of situations. The elderly, the infants, the third world country, the poor. I've been surrounded by support, and thank God for it. I hope that as I'm healing, I won't forget my suffering. So that I can be a shoulder to lean on again very soon.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=51&chapter=4&verse=34&version=65&context=verse
Undercover Christian
Tomorrow at this time, LORD willing, I'll have on an ugly gown, no make-up preparing for surgery. I'm not sure what I dread more, the surgery or no coffee before the surgery!! This made me laugh, I told Chloe that it would be fine if she didn't come to the hospital tomorrow night, if she wanted to go to church. She said "Well. I think I'm just gonna go to church. 'Cause if I come to the hospital, you're just gonna be doing this." She then jumps on the bed, sprawls out, and immitates me when I'm "out of it." She knows me so well. I went yesterday for my pre-op blood work. I sit down, and the lady begins to engage me in converstation. She eventually asked me where I worked, and what we did where I worked. I told her M&M, and that we built control panels for textile companies. I told her that textile business had been in a serious decline, but that the business owner trusted the LORD. Her eyes brightened. "You're the second person today that I've gotten to talk with about the LORD." We then engage in a deeper conversation about our Faith in Christ, and the churches we attend. She told me she sings but has a very deep voice like me. The only draw back in the conversation was I think she forgot that it hurts when a big needle gets stuck in someone's arm, even when you're discussing the Divine. Before I left I asked her about the bracelet she told me she'd be putting on my arm. "I don't know. What in the world did I do with it? I know I had it." We look and look and look. I look in my purse. She picks up every container in the room. A few minutes later another nurse comes in. "I've lost her bracelet. I know I had it." The nurse looks around, then comes over to me. "Isn't that the bracelet on her wrist?" Can you see that we really were deeply in conversation!!
Yesterday it was as if that nurse longed to be able to discuss the LORD, and was thrilled when I brought it up. I'm taking no credit for it. Her excitement level makes me ashamed at my lack of it. But my question is, do people know you're a Christian?" Or, are you an undercover Christian? Matthew 5:16
In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven.
The identifying mark of being Christian, the evidence beyond proof is not a shirt, or a bracelet, or an engraved Bible, or a sticker, or an action figure, it's the blood. And when you've been washed in the blood, and live in that truth, you're light will shine. I'll be honest, there are quite a few people that I'm not sure if they are Christians or not. I don't want the same to be said about me. I want my passion for Christ to be what people see when they look at me. Have my eyes said that lately? That's what I was afraid of. I'm sorry. He is my everything. I want everything about me to bring Him glory. I know that one way to do that is take the spirtual sunglases off, and not ever try to hide who I am in Him. Talk with you soon! Gina
Rocking and Rapping and Praising
Well, once again God came through for me, at the very moment I needed Him. By Saturday I'll admit I was a bundle of nerves. I'm still not exactly sure why. I don't know if it was lack of faith and trust, or if God wanted me to loose all my confidence in self, so that I would find all my confidence in Him. The basketball tournament was small but still fun. Hot dogs and food went good, and the meal my Aunt Pat prepared went well. Captured arrived first, and started setting up. This was part of my fear. All of this equipment I knew nothing about. But, Adam E. stepped in and handled that. We decided the youth room would be the best room for the concert, and it really was. I think that stage really got used that night. That may have been the first concert like that, I'm not sure. We had some ice breakers, and then an outstanding drama from Evangel chuch. Then BraveHearts4Christ performed, and it was amazing. I think that this style of music sometimes get an unfair bad rap(pardon the pun). If a kid listens to secular music, and comes to the realization that this same style of music is availabe to him/her from a Christian artists, he can be ministered to. I know that alot of kids were listening to the message being shared by this group. They were just so sincere. Then Captured performed. Again, everybody got excited and loved it. The funniest thing was when Oscar asked Captured bass player Jon if he could touch his gotee.
I was excited by all the positive feedback I got, and yesterday I saw people wearing the groups ts! We had a gazillion hot dogs and drinks left over. So we had dinner for the youth and for Vision and for lil' kids last night.
Now I can focus on Wednesday. I literally haven't given it much thought because I've been too busy. Please pray for Mark. He has more to do than he possibly can, so I spout out my same answer as always. "Just Pray. The Lord will provide." But I also know that I'm gonna be out of it, and he's the one having to deal with everything. I told everyone at M&M this morning in lieu of flowers, please send me a laptop computer.
Last night in Vision we talked about something that causes spiritual death. It's not like a cold, it's like cancer. A cold can be spread, but cancer is an internal destroyer. It can be eating you up on the inside, and yet people around are untouched. Have you guessed what we talked about?????
Unforgiveness.
I listened to Charles Stanley talk about it Sunday morning, and was reminded of some important truths.
My unforgiveness of anyone, breaks my blessing and fellowship with God. You know. You get that feeling, something missing. Foggy. Can't get it together. You have to examine your life for unforgiveness.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%206:12-15;&version=65;
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2018:21-22;&version=65;
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%2011:25;&version=65;
These scriptures make it clear. Forgive. We must forgive. It's so easy to say, and so difficult for me to do.
Brother Stanley said you know if you've forgiven if you wouldn't intentionally avoid that person.
The heart of the matter is this:
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2023:34;&version=65;
Jesus forgave us when we didn't want it, while we hated him, while we crucified Him. God has never asked us to do anything, that He hasn't already done.
Capris and concerts and tardies oh my!
I'll admit I've postponed blogging today. My head feels like it's going to come off my shoulders it hurts so much. It's a stress headache. You know the kind. Where it hurts in your neck, and shoulders too. UGGH. I know you probably don't want the details, but this is my blog, so I'm gonna share!
It all started yesterday. Mark called in the AM and told me Meagan had called him and her check engine light was on. Pressure level rising. I met her at the car place in the afternoon to take her car. She's very upset on the way home and crying. She is SO me. There was then a 5:30 meeting about the concert. I didn't think anybody would show up, but a few people did. But, the meeting wasn't really a good one, or productive. Stress level getting higher. We had Wed. Vision, and it was very good. PTL. By the time I get home my headache was just getting started. When I woke up this morning I'm sure that someone must have punched me and tied me in knots as I slept because of the way my entire body ached when I woke up! I get to work and remember the PTO meeting tonight. Stress level rising. My aunt Pat came today to do cholesterol screenings at my work and she brought me some Tylenol since I can't have anything else until after my surgery. She hands me a pamphlet on Stress, which shows a woman on the back blowing bubbles. I ask if all I have to do to feel relaxed is blow bubbles. I can do that. I forgot to mention the Mommy-Chloe knock down dragout this morning. She wakes up and says she's going to go ahead and get ready so she'll have plenty of time to eat. She wants to know why her face is peeling and says everyone is making fun of her. She decides she wants to wear capris, but not the ones I picked out because they look more like blue jeans than capris. But she doesn't want to wear shorts, but she doesn't want to wear blue jeans that look like capris. Tears and all the usual follow. At some point I said "You know what I want you to do?" She said "Go down stairs and eat cereal?" "No. I want you to go in your room and pray." She says "ok" and leaves for a few minutes and comes back with tears streaming down her face. We get over it and move on. Now back to my story. My head is HURTING HURTING HURTING, so at lunch I decide to go home instead of doing the 10 million things I needed to do. Mark had went home for lunch, and had my lunch ready when I got there. The phone rings, and I answer. It's my friend from WV that I'm co-writing a song with. She and I have tried to get this song finished for a month, and she's as discouraged about the song-writing struggles as I am. She wants to finish the song, and I do too. So, we decide we'll talk at 9:30 tonight, which will hopefully give me enough time to get finished with my PTO meeting, and then find out why Meagan's school had left a message on my answering machine to say she was late for school today! Stress level rising.
Is your day going like mine??? I hope not. But, I'm sure for alot of you it is. I read this a few days ago, and I taught on it last night: Psalm 37:5-6 5-6 Open up before God, keep nothing back;
he'll do whatever needs to be done:
He'll validate your life in the clear light of day
and stamp you with approval at high noon
To me this is saying make your spirit, your body, your mind, your everything open to Him, and He will take care of the rest. He's going to give me the validation that's appropriate, and approve me.
So many times when I think of my relationship with Christ, I envision it as Him letting me in, but not really wanting me there. Wrong. It's even more than that according to this scripture, He will meet that need of acceptance if we give it all to Him. Not that the world finds us acceptable, but that He does.
LORD,
You know the very thoughts going through the minds of both my reader and myself. Help us to know that keeping things from You is a useless and pointless task. We desire to hear you say one day "Well done thy good and faithful servant." LORD help us.
Amen
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